Ghosting has been a dating trend for a while now. But just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s right. Ghosting is one of the worst things you can do to a person. Disappearing out of nowhere, with no word, is rude and hurtful. And yet, so many guys (and girls) do it. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it most likely will one day (sorry, but it’s true). The only way to get ahead of ghosting is to pay attention to the signs someone is about to ghost you. Here are 9 things you should look out for that are typically staring you right in the face:

You’re Initiating All The Conversations

You’re always the one who has to reach out first. It didn’t use to be like that though. Before, he would text first and make plans. But now, it’s as if the relationship only exists because you make it happen. You shouldn’t always be the one initiating the conversations and making all the plans. He should be too. If he’s stopped doing that, it’s because he doesn’t want to make plans with you anymore. Which only means one thing…he’s about to disappear!

He Doesn’t Mention The Future

What’s his reaction when you mention the future? Does he go silent or quickly change the subject? Either one of those reactions most likely means he’s not thinking about the future. Why? Because he doesn’t see one with you. If you two have been dating for a few months now and he’s over the age of 21, he should be thinking about the future. It’s only natural. If he’s not, it’s because he knows something you don’t know — he doesn’t see himself with you long-term.

His Texts Are Short

Although I don’t think it’s a great idea to put a ton of stock into text messages, there’s something to be said about behavior. If he used to send you lengthy messages throughout the day and now you’re getting one-worded messages; that’s a sure-fire sign something’s wrong and he might be on his way to ghosting you. 

His Personality Is All Over The Place

Sometimes, he’s all over you! Blowing up your phone, showing public displays of affection, and so on. And then other times, it’s as if he doesn’t like you at all. Inconsistency is a very clear sign of someone who 1) doesn’t know what they want and/or 2) doesn’t know who they are. Either way, people with those personality traits have no problem going and in and out of people’s lives. They actually prefer it that way. 

He Hasn’t Had A Lot Of Girlfriends

You might think it’s a good thing that he doesn’t have a ton of ex-girlfriends. But it’s actually not a very promising sign. I’m not saying he should have a ton of ex’s but if he’s in his 20s and he’s only been in a relationship with one girl…sounds like he has some serious commitment issues. Get ready because he’s most likely not going to commit to you either!

He’s Not Going Out Of His Way Anymore

He used to bring you flowers, open the door for you, and surprise you with fun dates. And now? He doesn’t do any of that. And even when you ask him about doing something fun, he shrugs and says, “I’m just really busy.” No no no. It sounds like he’s just really not as interested as he once was.

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